Lesson Learned: Impossible to be an Infallible BasketBlogger

An amazing thing occurred last week during my visit to the Vatican while vacationing in Italy with my wife.  During my climb to the top of Vatican City, I bumped into the Pope himself who happened to be running stairs in order to get in shape for his sixty and over Men’s League team (“The Point Gods”).   Unbeknownst to me, The Pope is an avid hooper and basketball fan extraordinaire.   It came as a huge shock to find out that His Holiness had even read my first couple blog posts and had some unique feedback on my 5 QIP Theory and how it could be improved.   The following is the word for word dialogue of our conversation: 

Moments Before Meeting With the Pope

Pope (While giving me a smooth handshake-hug):  Coach Maley, what’s up man?  Huge fan of the blog! 

Me:  Thanks your Holiness, I’m a huge fan of your work as well.

Pope:  Well that’s good to know because it didn’t look like it when I watched your game on HighSchool Cube last winter.  After a couple bad calls, both the 3^rd commandment and the “Golden Rule” seemed to have fallen by the wayside (chuckling).

Me:  I’m sorry Your Holiness.  I lost control of my emotions.

Pope:  Don’t worry about it. I get frustrated too when the refs continually screw up the principle of verticality.  I mean, there are only so many times a coach can turn the other cheek.  Am I right?  (chuckling and elbowing me in the ribs)

Me:   Tell me about it.  Wow Father, I didn’t realize how knowledgeable you were about the game.

Pope:  Don’t let these red shoes fool you; I used to be able to jump out of the gym and I was the ultimate Junk-Yard Dog.   None of the College of Cardinals could stop me on the low block.

Me:   Really?  Where did you fall on the 5-QIP scale?

Pope:  Well that is what I wanted to talk to you about.  I have a couple of issues with your 5-QIP theory.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved the analysis and certainly appreciated the humor, but I feel like it needs to be broken down much further.  Each of your five categories:  Skill, Basketball IQ, Size, Athleticism, and the Junk-Yard Dog should have subcategories to them.  Simply using your rationale of a player “either has the quality or they don’t”, doesn’t allow for an accurate comparison of players who fall at the same level.

Me:  I’m not sure if I understand what you mean.

Pope:  Let me explain.  Let’s say you and I are both 3s on your 5-QIP scale.  With the “you either have the quality or you don’t” argument, there is no difference between you and I.  A four is a four, a three is a three, and a five is a five.   But, if you break each category down even further and assign numerical values to those breakdowns, you have a more accurate assessment.   You may end up being a 3.1, but since I can shoot off the dribble and have great lateral movement, I am now a 3.3 and thus a better player than you.    

Me:  Oh my God, I mean gosh.  That makes so much sense.  How could I have not thought of that before?    

Pope:  Don’t be too hard on yourself, only the big guy is infallible.  Do you know how many times I heard that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John had to revise their gospels?  (Chuckling again)

Me:  Thanks father.  I know the direction that I will take the blog post.  You will be the first to read it.

Pope:  No problem, happy to help.  Before you go, one quick question.

Me:  Anything your Holiness.

Pope:  Do you believe in playing the pack-line or do you like to get out and deny on the wings?

End Scene

This completely true story illustrates the flaw in the 5 QIP theory that I wrote about a couple weeks ago.  It simply isn’t specific enough and can certainly be improved upon.   For instance, just because you have height, does that mean you have the size quality?  What if you have toddler-size hands, a Kevin Willis wingspan, and weigh a buck-fifty soaking wet?  We’d all agree that player does not possess the size quality.  At the same time, the lack of those other attributes of size should not completely negate the player’s height either.   In the new 5 QIP theory, there are five subcategories of each quality, and if a player possesses only one of those five subcategories, they will get a value of .2.  If they possess all five of the sub-categories, then and only then should they be given a 1 for that quality.   Therefore, in our size example, the player will get a value of.2 for their height and not simply a zero as dictated by the previous version of the 5-QIP.

The same holds true for athleticism, basketball IQ, and skill.   They have all been broken down into five different subcategories and assigned .2 values for each sub-category.  Since skill is probably the most important and comprehensive quality of the 5 QIP, it is broken down even further into mini-categories.  For instance, the five sub-categories of skill are shooting, passing, ball handling, rebounding, and defense.   If we take the shooting sub-category of skill, it is broken down even further to finishing around the rim, spot up shooting, off the dribble, on the move, and the closely guarded shot.  Each of which has a value of .04.   A player may be lights out as a spot up shooter, but average at the other four.  By further breaking it down into these mini-categories, subtle differences can be accounted for and factored into the overall equation that makes the player.    

Maybe the shortest height to wing span ratio of all time

The Junk Yard Dog is the one quality that will not be broken down further because it is a trait that I truly believe a person either has or they don’t and there is usually no middle ground.    As was the case before with the Junk Yard Dog, a player can have either the super-duper quality (Rodman) which acts as extra credit or the pooper-scooper quality (Vince Carter) which is a minus.  Similarly, those distinctions will apply to each sub and mini category as well.      

Below is a chart that I created which lays out the complete new and improved 5-QIP theory.  As a coach, the whole-part-whole method has proven effective, so I will stick with it as a blogger.  In future posts, I will breakdown and analyze each subcategory and explain its importance to the complete player.  At the conclusion of all the breakdowns, we will then come back to the chart below and decide what it all means and how it can be used to evaluate players.  If you don’t like or agree with the new format, take it up with the Vatican because once the 5 QIP becomes Papal Law, there is no changing it.   

  

5 QIP Qualities	Value
Athleticism
Speed	0.2
Jumping	0.2
Lateral Movement	0.2
Burst	0.2
Change of Direction	0.2
Size
Height	0.2
Weight	0.2
Wing Span	0.2
Hand Size	0.2
Potential for Growth or Optimal Size	0.2
Basketball IQ
Reading Screens	0.2
Footwork	0.2
Understand the Offense/Defense	0.2
Thinking the Game 2 Steps Ahead	0.2
Tempo Control	0.2
Skills
Shooting
Finishing Around the Rim	0.04
Spot Up	0.04
On the Move	0.04
Off the Dribble	0.04
Closely Guarded Shot	0.04
Ball Handling
Taking Care of Ball	0.04
Changing Speeds	0.04
Getting Buy Defender	0.04
Splitting Defenders	0.04
Avoiding Wasted Dribbles	0.04
Defense
Deflections	0.04
Contests	0.04
Off Ball Positioning	0.04
On Ball Defense	0.04
Forcing TOS/Blocks	0.04
Passing
Pass w/ Language	0.04
Pass that Leads to Assist	0.04
Velocity, Angles, Accuracy	0.04
Post Feeds/Passing Out of Post	0.04
Passing Patience	0.04
Rebounding
Offensive	0.04
Defensive	0.04
Box-Outs	0.04
Tips	0.04
Put-Backs	0.04
Junk Yard Dog	1
Maximum Obtainable Value	5

First Breakdown Coming Soon:  The Art of Passing